Communicating anything that singles that person out. For example saying, “You are so special.” Saying things you would not be comfortable saying to someone else. Try to make all communication around your common interests- acting, sking, bicycling, etc.If you do say something encouraging, make it non-specific as possible. “Great job in the play!”
Spending time alone with a girl or even a group of girls. Always spending time with females in a group setting where there are other boys and when possible Christian adult supervision and accountability.
Drawing attention to their physical appearance. Saying, “Your haircut looks really nice.” Make it a habit to initiate no communication about their appearance. If a girl asks, “Do you like my hair?” Affirm them without elaborating.Then direct it back to them. “What do you think?” or “What do your parents think?”
Unlimited ability to text girls on the phone, facebook, or e-mail. This is certain to breed emotional intimacy. All electronic communication has limits. Any texts to a female must be done with an understanding that parents will review the texts, especially with young ladies that parents are unfamilar with.
Engaging in conversation about the hurts or fears of a young lady. If a girl says, “I’m going through a lot, I don’t know what to do,” direct them to the God appointed authority in their life. “Does your mom and dad (or pastor) know how you’re feeling?” Don’t ask probing questions or give personal advice. Connect them with Godly women that can minister to them. It is appropriate to ask if your family (not you alone) can pray.
Talking negatively about your parents or never mentioning them. Women walking with the Lord do not feel and should not feel safe with young men that despise or are unwilling to be under spiritual authority of a parent or a wiser and more mature adult. Tell girls about your love (hopefully it will be authentic) for your mom and dad, as well as things you do with them. This sends a message that your heart is not free for the taking, but under God’s supervision. If you have unresolved conflict with your parents talk to another mature Christian adult- grandparent, pastor, etc.


About the Author

My name is Randy Saller. I am a special education teacher at Gavin Central in Lake Villa, Illinois. I have a BA in Special Education and an MA in Curriculum and Instruction. I have been married to Amy Jo for the last 18 years. God has blessed us with three wonderful children- Jonah, Gilbert, and Sadie. Some of my interests include spending time with family, running, fishing, and writing. I have written for Turtle Magazine, Chicago Parent, and The Old Schoolhouse. My wife and I are Christians with a passion for homeschooling and family discipleship. Two of My favorite verses are: He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers..... (Malachi 4:6). I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth (1 John 3-4). Amy and I believe that there is no more important ministry than the family ministry. It is our passion to help parents understand the importance of their role in helping their children understand and know God. Although parents will always be imperfect, God has chosen the broken vessel of parenting to have the most influential role (humanly speaking) in the spiritual life of a child. I invite you to explore some of the free resources on this website.

Comments are closed.